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New series: starting with Long Distance Relationships

One of my blogging resolutions this year was to open up to you all. I am a very private person and I think many of these topics I’ll be writing about will create relationships with you and maybe we can help each other out in this thing called life. Today I wanted to kick off this series with a very very personal topic, my long distance relationship. My boyfriend, Matt and I have been dating since the summer of Freshman year of high school (2011). We were inseparable. We went and did everything together. In high school everything was so easy, we hardly fought and when we did we would resolve it within the day and be back to normal. During the first year of our relationship I was going through some friend problems. I was beyond stressed and stopped eating. He pulled me out of this horrible time and really and truly saved me. He was and is such an amazing man. And before I dive any deeper I want to put an emphasis on that we never went a day or two without seeing each other.

We graduated in 2014 and really couldn’t believe how fast time had flown. We had many discussions about college and how it would play out. We both applied to Sacramento State University and got accepted. We visited the campus right before we made our final decision. After visiting, everything started to feel so real to me, I did some thinking and ultimately decided not to attend Sac State with him. This was his “dream school” so I told him I wanted him to get his education there. I felt the best for me was to stay home with my family and go to the local community college. The first year was extremely weird. I was very busy with school, work and family and so was he. We went a couple weeks without seeing each other but talked everyday. He came home every chance he got and that time I really truly cherished. It’s a funny thing that we take people for granted, I definitely did during our high school years then when college came around I was almost mad at myself for not being grateful for that time.

Fast forward to this past semester. I decided to take online classes, I thought it might be fun to not have to go into class(which was a huge anxiety for me). After the initial “I get to do homework in bed faze” I started to become quite depressed and obsessive. I would get these horrible thoughts in my head that he was cheating and would literally go psycho on him. Now I feel horrible on how I treated him and every time he would calm me down and say how much he loved me and how he would never do that. This was a very hard time on our relationship. I learned that I have to be busy when he’s away because the pain of him not being with me is too great.

For all of you who are in a long distance relationship or are approaching one, this will not be easy. It’s hard, ugly and painful. But if you are confident in the love you have for your partner then it will eventually be okay. I don’t have an outcome because my relationship is still long distance.  But my goal is to get married and never do long distance again (isn’t that everyone’s happy ending?) But for now some of the tips I’ve come up with to cope is to keep busy. When you are still the mind wonders and you can literally drive yourself mad and possibly ruin the trust in the relationship. Talk often, you want your partner to have a safe place where they can tell you about their day. All the bad and good. See it as an opportunity.  See it as a test of your love for each other. Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

For those who are really struggling I suggest visiting this website it has some really helpful tips.

If you are going through a tough time in your relationship feel free to either comment below, email or DM me. I find talking about it can be quite therapeutic.

Trench but actually a dress.

Jeans

Blouse on sale for $10!!!

Handbag

Chanel ballet flats

xx,

Rachel

1 Comment

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